In Terms of Courage

In the entire lifetime of normal people, if ever such a normal person existed, no question of courage would have immersed itself into the sea of queries swimming alongside worries and troubles.

Obviously, there are few that face no such challenge. Imagine, even sperms had to endure arduous situations despite their insignificant size ( to us idiots ). Courage is needed to survive. Courage is demanded to survive. Even the most cowardly of cowards succumb to the need, dire need of courage to survive.

I forget my courage a lot these days. Anger appears to rekindle the remnants of courage that used to live within me. I lost anger sometime ago. A person needs either anger or wisdom to live an actual life. I have no sufficient wisdom so I rely on anger. However, since I lost my courage so many times, I lost the need to feel angry for I failed to be brave enough to protect what I love most. Gradually, I lost sight of what I loved. Gradually, I lost my need to live. Gradually, I lost, I got lost.

Hard times are needed to beat some good values into a person. I hope I shall undergo evil and maliciously harsh times to gain what I lost. To gain what I never had. All's well though, I have started to exist more that I used to. I cannot be perfect, I cannot be imperfectly perfect, I can only be me. Who is "me"? I need to find out even if I lose the shells of dreams from long ago.

Entire castles lie in ruins,
shall the Kings sleep in peace?
Gold and glory sustained the pain,
with which they were earned,
Lies enthrall young minds and deceive,
values need to be earned not given
as prizes of lineage nor as flattery to the chosen.