Oh nothing.. really...

As usual I come here, seeking the shadow of a purpose under sunlight. I haven't written a title for this entry yet.

These days, my entire self has been embroiled in primitive, unfazed id. Well, the people on TED call the part of the brain which is the main culprit for procrastination a primitive part of the brain. I wouldn't call my current state primitive, it's dressed from head to toe in facebook. However, the bareness of it all, the complete nakedness of my actions from any self-control, is primitive.

I decided something. I do not want my relationships to be defined by FB. I do not want my friendships to be controlled so much by facebook. I dislike talking to someone I can actually meet, on fb. It pushes me deeper into this voluminous worry and certainty that we are not compatible. We will not be compatible. The more I speak to particular people on fb, the more distant I feel. Initially, the ice is broken, but when the fluid becomes so thin, the relationship loses flavour, it is just buoyant expectations with little remnants of whatever fragments of reality there ever were.

Perhaps I should stop talking to you. I do not like this certainty of us not knowing what we really should know about each other.

Like I said once... relationships are nature. They are forever moving, never static. All forms of love is expansion. Relationships cannot remain at standstills, they most move ahead. If we were to fade off a natural death, then so be it. If we are to survive the cold winds of distance and icy absence, then we will.

Captain

I saw a lady Rapid Captain today,
a lioness wearing a lion's mane,
the binti scraped off her given name,
I cannot imagine her past, present...
I dream of a future where
she can live proudly, with no shame.

oF angrY childreN

Angry children push,
angry children hide,
angry children lie.

That's cause we are not mature enough to criticise wisely,
to use clever ways.

We are merely angry youngsters,
naive and frustrated,
not knowing our stand,
not knowing our purpose,
just existing with no use
save to point fingers
before we have earned the rights to.

Until Eternity

Here I sit, awaiting dawn. Crochet at my fingers.
Here I sit, awaiting sleep. My roommate fidgets.
Here I sit, awaiting peace. My mind swims.
Here I sit, awaiting a yawn. It has come, time to sleep.

The World eh?

The Earth after all, doesn't creak and groan its way around the sun just so human beings can have a good time and a bit of a laugh.

Murakami, Sputnik Sweetheart.

Collossal Weight of Silent Harakiri

I wouldn't actually call my cowardice harakiri.

I am just creating an excuse. Several excuses.

I am slowly killing myself with venom my spiteful mind has spewed.

I am rotting away inside.

No Longer In Me

It makes me sad that

flowers no longer hold my gaze

and let them linger

My heart is not growing any softer

The more I see, the less I understand

The more I feel, the less I can sense.

Catching falling stars

is no longer essential

in my dreams.

To be heard

is no longer the purpose

of my screams.

And it makes me sad that

I don't know where I'm going,

which sun I'll be seeing

in the morning.